i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
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