We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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