remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
