in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
