Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Randomize
