she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
3 2 1 whiskey
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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