The brown eye won't let me do that either.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
