I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Randomize
