dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
