dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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