why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
