hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
