dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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