it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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