i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
