Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
