I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
