Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I'm sobbing to NWA
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
