So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
