listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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