Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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