Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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