Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
