Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
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