dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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