you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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