i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
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as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
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I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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