I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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