We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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