to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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