Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
