my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
