....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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