The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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