just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
