They should really pass out barf bags in church
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
