if i died would you start the facebook group?
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
