Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
