You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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