You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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