i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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