I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
