if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
