Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
