I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Randomize
