I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
