brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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