i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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