Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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