You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Randomize
