I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
