At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
