Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
