Can i not drive my cunt home
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
