we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
