I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Randomize
