This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
