Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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