i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
