I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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