Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
